


Trustfalls

by PrismPunkie



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Communication, Developing Relationship, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Transformers: Lost Light 25, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2020-11-07 22:50:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20825117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrismPunkie/pseuds/PrismPunkie
Summary: Rodimus is trying to keep on top of being a better captain in this new universe. Which means re-earning the trust of his crew. All of his crew, unfortunately, which includes The Greatest Autobot of All Time. But the mutiny has still left behind a sting that Rodimus can't quite let go. It isn't until Drift pairs him up with the bot for a demonstration that he begins to realize why.Rating might be subject to change.





	1. Clearing the Air

**Author's Note:**

> This took a lot longer than I thought it would....

“No way. Absolutely not. You cannot make me.” Rodimus deadpanned, looking Drift dead in the optic. 

They had been going over ideas to boost ship-wide moral, Ratchet complained of an increasing amount of apathy coming from the crew, and they had settled on ‘trust falls’, one of Swerve’s ideas. Originally Rodimus had been very excited about it, especially since it would be good for at least a few laughs. Drift had been given the task of coming up with the pairs to demonstrate this exercise to the crew. Rodimus would have given it to Ultra Magnus if he had known just who Drift would be pairing him up with.  


“Come on Rodders, it won’t be that bad!”   


“Why him of _all_ bots?”  


“He volunteered, and the crew just loves him.” Drift reasoned.  


“Don’t remind me.” Rodimus huffed, leaning back in his chair.  


“Megatron insisted that if he was going to go along with this his partner would be Magnus and no one else. My hands were tied.”  


“Kind of defeats the purpose of a trust fall if he’s not very trusting.” Rodimus griped.  


“You told me yourself that you would drop him without hesitation.” Drift said crossing his arms, “So I can’t help but feel he’s kind of justified.”  


“Okay, but you can’t tell me that wouldn’t be hilarious!” Rodimus grinned at the thought of the stoic ex-leader of the Decepticons, leaning back and expecting to be caught, only to fall with a thunderous thud onto the floor in front of the whole crew.  


“Maybe, but it’s not something the captain of a ship, one who is trying to win the trust of his crew and boost morale, should do.” Drift said with soft optics. And Rodimus knew he was right, that was kind of why he told Drift in the first place. He knew he couldn’t resist being an aft to Megatron so he made sure he wouldn’t get the chance to. He groaned outwardly, remembering who he would actually have to trust fall with. Maybe he could just stand off to the side of the demonstration. Let Mags and Megs do the rest...

“I know that look, don’t even think about getting out of this.” Drift said with a pointed look.  


“Easy for you to say, you get to have Ratchet’s hands all over you.” Rodimus said with a waggle of his brow, “Don’t think I didn’t notice who you picked for yourself.”  


Drift’s face burned pink with energon and he stuttered over his words, “Ratchet and I- we used to never get along, that’s why I chose him! To show that we trust each other now, n-not for any other reason.”

Rodimus gave him a sly smirk, “Yeah, and he just so happens to also be your conjunx.” He said dryly, unconvinced.

“Stop trying to change the subject, you’re still going to be trust falling with Thunderclash.” Drift said with finality and Rodimus groaned again.

“How is that even going to work? Sure he can catch me, but he’s like twice my size!” Rodimus said, trying to excuse himself somehow.  


“Don’t give me that, I’ve seen you pick up bots twice your size and throw them over backwards. You’re plenty strong enough.” Drift said, reaching over to plant a digit on his autobrand, “You’re Rodimus _Prime_, not a minibot anymore.”  


“You’re not gonna leave until you get me to agree to this are you?” Rodimus asked, though he already knew the answer.  


“Of course, I know you always keep your word.” Drift said with a cheeky grin.  


Rodimus screwed his optics shut and hissed, “_Fiiiiiine_.”

* * *

The next day, as the time for the demonstration came upon them, Rodimus couldn’t help but still feel sour about being forced into this. By his own amica no less! His mood must have been palpable because most of the crew gave him space while he seethed. He forced himself to suck it up for the sake of the crew. He needed them to know that he forgave them for the mutiny and that he wanted to trust them, and also them to trust him.

When Rodimus caught sight of his ‘partner’ he barely contained an audible growl. Mutineer numero-uno, Thunderclash was standing with a group of his ‘fans’ and smiling that perfect smile of his. It chafed Rodimus to no bounds that he had to forgive Thunderclash along with the rest of the crew. That the bot thought Rodimus incompetent enough that he had gone with Getaway’s schemes and stranded him and his other crew-mates on Necroworld.  Of course he did, what did Rodimus expect from ‘the greatest autobot of all time’? He stole his mission, why not steal his whole ship and crew too? Rodimus almost thought he got what he deserved when he heard that he got beaten back into a coma. Almost being the operative word. He wasn’t completely spark-less after all.

Rodimus felt that, at the very least, Thunderclash kind of redeemed himself by trying to stop Getaway. First Aid had explained how the escape had went and how Thunderclash had gotten one solid hit on Getaway, in Rodimus’ name no less. That fact did tickle Rodimus in a way. But old habits die hard, and Rodimus fell back into silently hating the handsome and charismatic ‘greatest autobot of all time’ without missing a beat.

To take his mind off of what exactly he was going to be doing in the next few minutes, Rodimus forced himself to pay attention to what Ultra Magnus was saying about the Autobot Code and the fight against apathy. Which if there was ever a speaker to you _didn’t_ want talking about the fight against apathy, it was Ultra Magnus. Luckily Ratchet managed to get him to move it along, as he had noticed some of the mechs in the audience were literally falling into recharge or trying to escape the assembly.

Then came the demonstration of trust from the officers, Magnus and Megatron awkwardly fell against each other first. Then the whole crew was forced to watch Drift and Ratchet not make ‘googly optics’ at one another. But when the time came for his part, Rodimus was surprised, and slightly embarrassed, to see that Thunderclash had disappeared. He stood in front of the crew, looking around helplessly and a little unsure of what to do.

“Thunders said he wasn’t feeling well.” Swerve said from behind the counter and the crew all made sad noises that caused Rodimus to grit his dentae a little. Rodimus looked around the room again at the expectant optics on him.

“Well I guess... I don’t have a partner... Uh, but you all get what this is all about! Trusting one another! Connecting with your fellow bot! Now everyone pair up.”

The rest of the time spent on the exercise went as expected. A few bots were squished, no injuries thankfully, and some laughs were had. Surprisingly there was only one purposeful drop but what did anyone expect from Whirl.

After it was over, Rodimus breathed a sigh of relief as he walked back up to his habsuite. He paused for a moment as an absurd combination of colors caught his optic. Thunderclash was sitting on the floor by one of the large windows, looking out into the vastness of space. Usually Rodimus would have thought nothing of it but he could have sworn that Swerve said he wasn’t feeling well. The big oaf hadn’t been in the best of health since his fights with Getaway and was constantly in and out of the medbay for procedures. So 'not feeling well' for Thunderclash could either mean he was having a couple aches or he was going back into a coma, there was very little in between. So, with mild trepidation, Rodimus approached the bigger bot.

“H-Hey Thunderclash, you feeling okay?” Rodimus said, trying his best not to grimace.

“Oh, Rodimus,” The big bot looked up at him, looking genuinely surprised to see him, “Yes, I’m feeling much better now… Sorry about stepping out on the demonstration. I’m sure you had it handled of course.” Thunderclash smiled at him but there was a kind of melancholy barely concealed in his optics. 

Rodimus almost didn’t comment on it. It wasn’t really his place to pry into the big mech’s personal life. But there was a part of him that rebelled against him. Clearly Thunderclash wasn’t telling him something, and a good captain takes time for his crew. Even if it turns out to be nothing, it would be worth it in the long run to make sure he was okay. Right?

“Are you sure you’re okay? It’s not like you to disappear like that, I wa—I mean— The crew was kind of worried about you.” Rodimus caught himself. He didn’t want to give the wrong impression, it wasn’t like Rodimus had been worried. No he was just coming over to check on him because that’s what any good captain would do… Right?

Rodimus almost missed the sheepish smile on Thunderclash’s face as he responded, “That’s nice of them. I’m fine, I assure you.” The big bot turned back to face the window and Rodimus followed his gaze.

The dark expanse of space lay before them. Endless and terrifying, but surprisingly calm considering the events that had led to this point. Millions of stars flickered in the distance like a shoreline just on the horizon from a ship, promising safe harbor if you could reach them. In this new universe, they had infinite time and possibilities among those stars. But somewhere among those millions, billions even, of stars was the end of the line. That thought scared Rodimus more than the cold emptiness of space.

“I just wanted to enjoy the view for a little while.” Thunderclash spoke softly. Rodimus caught his optics in the dim reflection of the window. They looked kind of sad.

“Mind if I join you?” The words were out of his mouth before he knew what was happening and he shifted nervously on his pedes. He half hoped that the other bot would say no. 

“Of course not, Captain, I would be honored.” Thunderclash smiled up at him again and the sadness Rodimus had seen briefly in the bigger bot’s optics melted away.

Not wanting to analyze that too much, Rodimus took a seat next to his colorful friend and kept his gaze dead ahead and staring out the window. But he couldn’t help but notice that the smile on Thunderclash’s face didn’t fade from his reflection. They sat there for a few minutes, both just staring out into the stars and not saying anything. Rodimus started to feel that nagging feeling when he sat still for too long. He started fidgeting with his hands and the soft tapping of his digits on his thighs seemed like the loudest noise in the universe at the moment.

“You left me stranded.” Rodimus bit his lip too late as he spoke a half formed thought out loud, “In front of the crew I mean, at the demonstration. We were all expecting you…” Rodimus trailed off not entirely sure where he was going with this.

Thunderclash shifted to look at him, concern bight in his ruby optics, “My sincerest apologies my Prime, I did not mean to embarrass you.”

“I’m sure you didn’t, but,” Rodimus tried to hold back his next thought but found that he couldn’t, “It wouldn’t be the first time.”

The silence that followed could be cut with a knife. Thunderclash winced, looking down in shame and Rodimus inwardly kicked himself. He didn’t need to be starting things with a crew member that had the trust of his entire crew. 

Mutiny Two; Electric Boogaloo might be in his near future if he kept this up.

“I know, and I’m sorry Rodimus.” Thunderclash said finally. 

His response surprised Rodimus. He half expected some run-of-the-mill explanation for his attitude, or an in-depth reasoning behind his actions. He hadn’t expected a gentle acceptance and an apology. Thunderclash was just full of surprises today.

For that reason, Rodimus chewed over his next words carefully, “You seem alright to me so, I was just wondering… why?” Rodimus asked, watching the bigger bot and trying to gauge his thoughts unsuccessfully. Thunderclash’s face seemed surprisingly guarded. Was he hiding something?

“I, uh…” Thunderclash’s shoulders sagged dejectedly and he looked back out the window his optics finding Rodimus’ in the reflection once more, “I could see that you weren’t in the best of moods and I know that you find me… irritating— not that I blame you after I… I just thought maybe it would be for the best if I just left.”

A pang of guilt hit with surprising weight onto Rodimus. He didn’t mean to be so outwardly angry at the big mech. He didn’t want to do it sure, but that didn’t mean he had to let his mood show the way that he did. Thunderclash had volunteered after all, as usual he was just trying to be helpful.

“Jeez, I’m sorry Thunders,” Rodimus began, “It wasn’t my intention to make you feel bad.” 

“Oh—I know, I just didn’t want to be any trouble to you.” Thunderclash said quickly, slightly stepping over his words. All of this seemed very unlike Thunderclash. Where was his confidence and bravado? It was strange seeing him acting all subdued.

It dawned on him that maybe, just maybe, he had this bot all wrong. Rodimus stared into the soft optics in the reflection of the big mech beside him, perhaps really seeing him for the first time. His lumbering frame pulled together to make himself seem smaller now that Rodimus was beside him, and his once relaxed form now tense. Thunderclash almost appeared to be pulling away from him at the points where their bodies might actually make contact. It was like he didn’t want to risk making Rodimus uncomfortable in any way.

Upon that realization, Rodimus frowned, “You’re no trouble ‘Clash, having you on board… is sometimes a relief actually. The crew definitely likes you more than me.” The confession tumbled from his lips with surprising ease considering he had never said anything like this to anyone other than Drift.

Rodimus looked down, feeling a little ashamed as the floodgate opened, “They're all probably relieved that they have more capable hands onboard. Because all my captaincy has done so far is get people killed and incite a mutiny…”

Rodimus bit his tongue on the rest of his self deprecations and was about to apologize when a heavy hand rested on his shoulder. He turned and looked up at the real face of Thunderclash, an almost gross amount of emotion in those glowing red optics of his.

“Rodimus, when I first heard you were also looking for the Knights, I was genuinely relieved. Despite what you might think or have heard, I believed whole heartedly in you. In many ways, I look up to you. Doing this job, being a captain, it’s incredibly difficult. One has to make decisions and allow others to scrutinize your every move, it’s the part of being in charge that everyone hates. But you do so with everyone’s best interest in mind and if the rest of the crew can’t see that then that’s on them, not you.”

Rodimus stared up at the mech, slightly dumbstruck and trying to take in everything the he had just said. As if sensing his slow moving processor, Thunderclash chuckled nervously and continued.

“What I mean to say is, and I should have said this before now, I never wanted you off of the Lost Light. When the mutiny happened I wasn’t aware of what Getaway had planned, I just thought—and I think we all initially thought, it would just be Megatron. A-and we obviously had no idea about the DJD… And I’m ashamed to say that, even though I knew it didn’t feel right, I went along with everything anyway.”

Thunderclash took a breath before continuing. “You have every reason to be upset with me, with all of us who mutinied, you did nothing to deserve what we did to you. You deserve to have a loyal and trustworthy crew that you can depend on and I’m sorry—so sorry, that I failed to do that for you. I understand if you decide to never trust me… Which, I guess, is why I left the demonstration…”

Thunderclash began to wilt under Rodimus’ continued stare but he couldn’t help it. It was like peeling back the cover of something for the first time and really getting a look at it. 

“I wanted to show you that you could trust me but I could see that,” Thunderclash smiled sadly at him, retracting the hand from his shoulder, “That’s not possible for us is it?”

To say that Rodimus was absolutely flabbergasted by all of what he just heard would be putting it _lightly_. He blinked several times while processing it all. _Thunderclash_ wanted to prove himself? To _Rodimus_? He wants _Rodimus_’ trust? The notion seemed utterly strange, almost foreign, to what Rodimus was used to. Normally it was him trying to prove _himself_, not the other way around. That wasn’t to say he didn’t _like_ the turn of events, it just felt… odd.

He swallowed dryly and tried to find words of comfort for the other mech, “Well, let’s not come to that conclusion so quickly. We can still find some common ground I’m sure.”

Thunderclash pulled inwards, once again looking physically smaller than Rodimus had ever seen him, “You don’t have to do that Rodimus, I understand how you feel about me.”

A slight amount of annoyance prickled Rodimus’ and he once again didn’t bite his glossa in time, “Oh and how’s that? What’s the intuition of the great Thunderclash saying?” He regretted it immediately as Thunderclash’s shoulders sank even lower. The big mech refused to meet his gaze, staring off into the void of space instead.

Rodimus sighed, “I’m sorry I snapped Thunders, I’m just… I’m tired of people telling me they know me better than… well me.” Rodimus took a chance by scooting closer and putting a hand on the bigger bot’s arm. Red optics turned to look at him and for half a moment Rodimus could feel Thunderclash’s EM field brush his own, muddled emotions spilled throughout. He tried to come across as comforting as possible, projecting reassurance in his own field.

“Listen, I know you probably think I hate you for what happened, I know my actions lately haven’t said otherwise… But the truth is I’m—I’m just being bitter.” Rodimus ground his dentae together, trying to get out the words he had never spoken to anyone.

“I’m just really, really—and I mean _severely_— jealous of you. You’re a much better captain than me. You’re weirdly in tune with the Matrix, and you were making so much more headway than I was when we were looking for the Knights. You always seem to know what you’re doing and you’re annoyingly good at just about everything and heck just about everyone loves you!” Rodimus had a lot more to say but his tirade was cut short by sheer willpower as he calmed himself to speak slower.

“And yeah, it hurts to know that you— perfect Captain Thunderclash, the Greatest Autobot Who Ever Lived— was part of a mutiny against me.” Rodimus sighed, “But I now know that you regret it, and I just... I want us to be able to trust each other again.

“I—I…” Thunderclash began slowly, “I greatly dislike the thought that my being here has caused you such distress… You are a _wonderful_ captain. You’re infinitely kind and understanding, helping everyone you can; even sometimes when they don’t deserve it from what I have heard. For those reasons, I want you to know that you have my full support, regardless of how you feel about me. And I swear on my honor as an Autobot, you can trust me Rodimus.” Thunderclash finished, putting a hand over his spark.

Rodimus shifted awkwardly to scratch his helm at the sincere display and chuckled nervously, “Thank you for that. Now, I think that both of us would benefit from putting the past, and all this mutiny business, behind us.”

Thunderclash visibly relaxed and a hopeful look crossed his face, “If you’re willing to put the past behind us, and you can find it in your spark to forgive me, then I can as well.”

Rodimus smiled crookedly, “Sure thing Thunders,” he stood up and put out a hand for the big mech, “So… Friends?”

Thunderclash beamed brightly, standing up quickly and taking Rodimus’ outstretched hand, his bigger blue ones almost swallowing his yellow ones. Rodimus felt suddenly dwarfed by the bigger mech, who had to lean over to be around his own height. He also felt a strange flutter in his tanks when Thunderclash smiled at him. It was such a genuine grin, filled with only happiness and hid no alternate motives. Rodimus felt almost like he was drowning in it as Thunderclash’s EM field pulsed around him.

“Thank you so much Rodimus, for everything, you didn’t need to come and talk to me but I really appreciate it.”

“It’s no big deal Thunders, I’m uh, trying to be a better captain. I need to make sure my crew is alright you know.” He said with a smile before adding, “I uh, might be in need of a few pointers. If you’re free sometime… Do you maybe want to get a drink at Swerve’s with me?”

Rodimus didn’t get the reaction he expected. Thunderclash almost seemed to clam up, this brassy faceplate darkening around his optics and his EM field pulling away once again.

“Oh, I-I would lo-like that very much, I’ll um… I’ll let you know?” Thunderclash almost sounded unsure. Rodimus wanted to ask why but he didn’t want to pry anymore, as it seemed like the big mech was trying to end their conversation as it was.

“Ok, well… See you later Thunders.” Rodimus said before looking down where Thunderclash was still holding his hand. Upon the realization, both of them let go and straightened themselves up. An awkward silence settled over them as they both still stood there.

“I’m just gonna…” Rodimus pointed over his shoulder as he backed away.

“Yeah, I should get going too…” Thunderclash said before half turning to leave. He stopped, “I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah, totally.” Rodimus said, clicking his glossa and shoot finger guns at him. 

After that, Rodimus turned around and marched himself away, feeling more than a little bit embarrassed for some reason. But he was glad that at least he cleared the air with him and the big mech. It was nice to know that Thunderclash supported him… If he had really meant all of what he said… 

Rodimus shook the doubts from his helm. Thunderclash was a good mech, and he was far too noble to lie like that to his face. No, the colorful mech certainly meant all of what he had said.

Rodimus couldn’t help but wonder about whether or not the big bot really wanted to meet up with him at Swerve’s later though. It kind of sounded like he didn’t, from the way he had reacted when Rodimus asked. It seemed more like he was just being nice and trying to just end their conversation. But even more confusing, it then seemed like Thunderclash didn’t want to leave afterwards. Like he still had something to say.

Rodimus chewed over his thoughts for awhile, trying to reason out a possible explanation. In the end he decided that maybe Thunderclash was just weird.

“It certainly would explain his paint job.” Rodimus mused.


	2. Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Falling is not the problem  
When I'm Falling I'm at peace_

Thunderclash wanted to throw himself out the airlock.

Not even being entirely dramatic but Thunderclash wished for the sweet embrace of the cold vacuum of space and the eventual death that followed.

Why?

Because he had blown his chance to go out with Rodimus.

Rodimus, as in his Captain. Rodimus as in the mech who always did his best to save everyone, including Thunderclash himself, from certain doom. As in Rodimus Prime, the incredible hero with a spark so pure and optics that were true matrix blue. 

Rodimus, the most handsome mech he’d ever set optics on.

Thunderclash had wanted nothing more than to ask the speedster out for… _years_ now. Long before he had even joined the Lost Light, he had realized his feelings for him. Albeit, he brushed them aside because of how certain he was that Rodimus would flat out refuse him. Yet when the red mech was staring him down just now, outright asking to have a drink with him, Thunderclash fumbled.

Perhaps it was because he was so caught off guard at their sudden mutual bonding. Or maybe because he still had doubts whether or not Rodimus could really stand him. Or, even more likely, he was still feeling the guilt of having followed along with Getaway’s mutiny. The fact that he had been a participant, however inactive he had been, in a mutiny at all weighed heavily on him. He joined the Lost Light because he believed in the crew’s mission and saw good in what they were doing. He had agreed with Getaway’s plan solely because he thought he would be getting rid of Megatron, not Rodimus. But that wasn’t how things went down and in the end, even when it became clear what Getaway’s real plan for the mutiny was, Thunderclash had let it happen. He betrayed his Captain and several crew members. Even if he didn’t know about the DJD, he still held himself at fault for what happened.

A couple of them didn’t come back from Necroworld, after all.

Thunderclash paced in his hab, feeling melancholy.

“But we’re friends now right?” He stopped pacing, staring down at the floor. They both decided to let go of the past and put it behind them. Rodimus himself even said they were friends.

Friends didn’t mean that he could pursue Rodimus the way he wanted to. Who was he, a bot who betrayed Rodimus, to go looking for love in such a mech? He didn’t deserve Rodimus’ friendship, even less his love. He winced at the thought of rejection and the awkwardness that was sure to follow if he tried. Rodimus would likely go back to staying as far away from him as possible again. And no amount of common ground would help mend them after that. Thunderclash knew things would be better if he just cut his losses and tried to be a good friend to him. Perhaps he would eventually get over his infatuation. He and Rodimus had only just established a positive relationship, maybe with time he’ll simply be happy that they were friends.

Thunderclash slumped onto his berth and gave a shuddering sigh. He drug a hand from the top of his helm down to his chin, squeezing his optics shut. He opened them and counted the seconds it took for them to recalibrate. His sight was beginning to bother him. Of all things he thought would go on him, he never would have guessed his optics would be first. He supposed he could get new ones, the ones he had weren’t very special after all. He could probably even pick a different color. Maybe blue like Rodimus.

Thunderclash swung his pedes up and settled down to recharge with the pleasant thought of Matrix-blue optics staring back at him, the face accompanying them smiling for once.

He awoke hours later, his optics fuzzy and unfocused. He got them to recalibrate after a few minutes and typed a message to Velocity about being seen for his optics sometime. He sent it via the medic’s patient logs so as not to bother her right away. He wasn’t in a rush to have them done just yet and this way she could see him whenever she got around to it. She was likely busy right now.

With that taken care of he made his way to Swerve’s hoping to share some fuel with a few friends before resuming his duties. He walked in and faltered slightly at the sight of Rodimus at the bar. Megatron standing just over his shoulder.

The silver mech seemed much closer to Rodimus in the past few weeks. Even before the mutiny, the two had a tentative friendship. But now things between them seemed… Different. Thunderclash didn’t want to jump to conclusions about anything but he couldn’t help but feel a little jealous here and there. Especially when they were so casual together. Rodimus would lean on him when telling a joke and sometimes they would get in each other’s space when conversing. It was the kind of casual intimacy that Thunderclash yearned to have with the speedster.

He shook himself from his thoughts when he realized he was staring and took a seat at one of the tables. Far enough away to not be noticed, but close enough to be in pining distance. It was a difficult place to be but he preferred it that way. Better to be close to the sun and risk being burned than to live with no sun at all.

Megatron didn’t stay long, he gave Rodimus a salute before bowing out to go to the bridge. Not that Thunderclash was paying much attention. No he was far too engrossed in the table under his fingers while he sat and listened to Rodimus laugh. Far too busy letting his optics wander the bar, only for them to rest back upon Rodimus’ frame. Then he was busy looking down at the fuel that had been set in front of him by Swerve.

“You feeling okay Thunders?” Swerve said from next to his elbow while dropping his drink off, “We all missed you at the demonstration, I was pretty worried. I know you’ve been through a lot—well who hasn’t really, but you in specifically have suffered a lot of serious injuries and I just wanted to check that you were okay, y’know?”

Thunderclash smiled at the minibot, “I’m alright Swerve. I just wasn’t feeling like myself for a little while. It happens a lot these days but it’s nothing to worry about.” He picked up his drink and pressed it to his lips, his optics darting over to where Rodimus sat.

He froze when he caught Rodimus staring back at him, a curious expression on his face.

“Well, if you need anything—anything at all, just remember you can always come to me!” Swerve patted him on the arm, “Your buddy Swerve has your back!”

Thunderclash was grateful to have a reason to look away as he looked down to smile at Swerve, “Thank you, I will be sure to remember that.”

With that the mini skipped away, looking very pleased with himself. Thunderclash looked up again to find that Rodimus had gone back to his conversation with the bots at the bar. He breathed a sigh of relief but he also felt more than a little sad.

Thunderclash turned his cube around on the table, over and over again. Mulling over what he was going to do about this. In all honesty, he felt like his little crush was getting out of hand. It was like he couldn’t function normally anymore. If Rodimus was in the room it was like he was holding his vents all the time. He felt hot and he couldn’t think of anything without him being in the back of his processor. It was like he was waiting for something to happen. But he also knew that nothing _would_ as long as he was such a coward, living in fear of rejection.

He needed to get over himself. He and Rodimus were friends now. He was just be happy with that. After all, he _did_ mutiny against him. Not purposefully, not so much by choice. But that didn’t change the fact that it happened. But Rodimus was content with letting bygones be bygones, and they could start fresh and new. Thunderclash had a chance to have a real friendship with the red speedster. He shouldn’t go around mucking it up with his feelings.

Thunderclash downed the rest of his fuel quickly with the rest of his thoughts. He set the rest of his cube on the table, suddenly not in the mood for his mid-grade, and was about to stand up when he was stopped cold by a figure who had suddenly appeared at his table.

* * *

“Is this seat taken?” Rodimus asked the colorful mech, indicating to the seat across from him.

The large mech blinked at him, “Uh, no—not at all.”

“Do you mind if I…” Rodimus said going to sit down, a little unsure because Thunderclash was acting kind of strange.

“No—ahem, I mean, sure—I mean,” Thunderclash smiled and motioned to the seat in front of him, “Please, take a seat.”

Rodimus quirked a brow at the big mech as he sat, curious about his sudden awkward demeanor, “You sure it’s all right? I thought maybe we could have a little chat but if you have something else on your mind…”

“No, no, it’s all right, you just caught me a bit off guard is all. I’ve been stuck in my own processor so much these days I guess I’ve just gotten used to being a bit antisocial.” 

Despite his reassurances, Rodimus noticed Thunderclash fidgeting with his cube in front of him. His red optics gazed fixedly at it for a long moment before glancing back up at him. He seemed tense for some reason.

“I guess I can understand that.” Rodimus said, trying to overcome some of the awkwardness, “I can’t stand it when I get stuck in my processor for too long, I try to keep myself busy so that I specifically _don’t_ do that.” Rodimus chuckled.

“It can be kind of a drag.” Thunderclash nodded, “You end up overthinking everything.”

“Exactly,” Rodimus said, slumping back in his seat, “And that’s the last thing I need. Which is why I just don’t think, I trust my instincts and I leave the thinking up to Mags.”

“I don’t think that’s entirely true.” Thunderclash said, fiddling with his cube some more.

“Oh?” Rodimus side-eyed him from a narrowed optic.

“I think your decisions are more calculated than you make them out to be.” Thunderclash elaborated, “You just don’t like having to explain your reasonings so you act quickly and sometimes without informing others.”

Rodimus blinked at him, “I guess that’s one way of looking at it. Everyone just assumes I get lucky most of the time.”

Thunderclash shook his helm with a smile, “I don’t think luck has anything to do with it. If anything, you make your own luck.”

Rodimus felt a warmth spreading over him. It was strangely nice to have someone show confidence in him for a change.

“I wish that were true,” Rodimus said slowly, “I try my best, that’s all I can really say.”

“And your best is enough, believe me. Anyone who isn’t in your position can criticize all they want, and they will, but when it comes down to it you ultimately make the hard decisions that they never could. You act when others would hesitate. It’s difficult, but no one ever said being a leader was easy.” Thunderclash said, holding Rodimus’ gaze.

“But,” Rodimus lowered his voice so as not to be heard by the nearby tables, “What if their criticisms are right? What if I have just made mistake after mistake? How do you justify still being a leader at that point?”

Thunderclash’s red optics softened and he took a sip from his energon for a moment before answering, “Admitting that you made a mistake is always the first step. From there, you learn, you grow. Some old leaders would say that remaining consistent with your leadership is the most important, but I don’t believe that.”

He looked back up at Rodimus, fixing him with a stare that made him feel like the only bot in the room, “To do so would mean our judgment is always going to be perfect but there is no one who can claim to be so. Changing and adapting to the choices we make and the problems that come up is more important. And I think that’s something you know how to do naturally. You’re one of the most adaptable mechs I’ve ever met.”

Rodimus realized his intake was going dry and he had to shut his jaw which had gone a little slack. He wasn’t even sure how to respond to that. This bot was still surprising him with how much faith he had in him. He felt a little guilty all over again for making him feel bad.

“And,” Thunderclash continued after a pause, “If you need an example of admitting your mistakes, just look at me and the crew. We thought _Getaway_ was a good leader for awhile and… well.” He make a gesture at his helm like he was pulling wires out and Rodimus couldn’t help but chuckled a bit.

“I guess even you aren’t as perfect as everyone makes you out to be.” Rodimus jabbed lightheartedly.

“Oh believe me, I’m not perfect. I don’t know where anyone got that idea from.” Thunderclash said, seeming to relax a little bit more and taking another sip of his nearly empty cube.

“Well the thousands of stories about your battles might have _something_ to do with it.” Rodimus quirked a brow at the big mech who smirked. Had he ever seen Thunderclash smirk before? It was a good look. 

“Name a battle and I could tell you at least _three_ things that didn’t go right in that fight.”

Rodimus thought for a moment, “That one organic planet from about 900,000 years ago, what was it called…Horborex? They said you dropped in behind enemy lines and sacked the whole decepticon operation single handedly.”

Thunderclash looked like he was holding back his laughter, “Is that what they say? That whole day was a blunder. There was a problem with my drop, I ended up behind the enemy on accident. I got lucky that the patrol was late by a few moments and I was able to hide by covering myself in mud. After that I saw no choice but to infiltrate the facility. Their energon mining was disrupting the planet’s tectonic rhythm, so the facility was going under whether I had been there or not really.”

Rodimus bit his own derma at the thought of Thunderclash, brightly colored and sticking out like a sore digit, flopping around in mud to be less noticable.

“I always thought it was weird that you of all mechs pulled off an infiltration.” Rodimus admitted.

“That should be apparent to everyone really, I don’t exactly blend in, and I’m not made to be very quiet.” Thunderclash motioned to his size, broadening himself for a moment and giving Rodimus more than an optic full of his true size, which was always more slumped when sitting down. When fully drawn up, he was just as big as Megatron, and slightly bulkier. Rodimus felt his optics dart to the table in slight embarrassment when he realized he might be staring. 

“What about the siege of Cronar?” Rodimus asked, quickly changing the subject, “You brought down an enemy ship using your bare hands?”

“The ship hit _me_ first.” Thunderclash said simply and Rodimus snorted a little, “In all seriousness, it was either bring it down or it would carry me into the upper atmosphere, and I’m not keen on heights.”

The two of them continued on like that for a while, Rodimus asking Thunderclash about his more wild exploits. Each story becoming more ridiculous but at least more believable than the original. Until Rodimus was convinced he wasn’t the only one making his own luck. Thunderclash had brushed with death a lot more than the stories let on, and he shared a few of his more prominent battle scars. He still had the welds from where a large blade had nearly severed his arm underneath the shoulder joint and he was still missing some of the structure in his knee which meant he could pop it out of place really easily. Which he demonstrated, and Rodimus groaned at while staring in gross fascination. The big mech laughed.

“I could have that one fixed, I just didn’t see the need to right now.” Thunderclash said, playing with the hook on his knee joint, “I didn’t think I would see as much action after the war was over. Then again I wasn’t very healthy either and couldn’t really get out to look for it like I used to.”

“But that didn’t stop you,” Rodimus observed, “You never stopped looking for adventure.”

Thunderclash beamed at him, “I think that’s something we both have in common.”

Rodimus returned the smile, “Yeah… I guess so.” 

He looked down for only a second to pick up his drink when he heard a noise like glass breaking. He snapped his help up in alarm, looking around for the source of the noise. He further jumped when his optics came to rest on Thunderclash, now holding a hand up to half of his face.

“Oh, bugger.” Thunderclash muttered under his breath, “I-I’m sorry, Rodimus, but I have to take my leave now.” The big mech rose, rather ungracefully and almost upending the table in his wake.

“Hey are you ok?” Rodimus asked, standing as well but giving some distance to the colorful mech as he turned with an arm out to find something to guide him from the bar. His other hand still covering half of his face.

“I-I’m fine, not to worry, I just need to-to…”

Rodimus followed, unconvinced and more than a little worried.

There was another crack, like the breaking of glass, and Rodimus could just see Thunderclash’s uncovered red optic begin to dim. More than half the room was staring now, and several mechs were coming over to see what was wrong. Rodimus could almost feel Thunderclash’s panic rising. So, as casually as he could manage, he grabbed the big mech’s arm and put it over his shoulder and put an arm around his waist to steady him.

“It’s okay guys I’m just going to help Thunderclash back to his room, he’s fine! Don’t worry, nothing to see here.” He said loudly before whispering to his big friend, “Just follow my lead.”

With his optic now closed, he nodded and allowed Rodimus to lead him from the bar and away from the crowd. He didn’t take him back to his room, however, as he made a beeline to the medbay.

“I’m so sorry about this Rodimus.” Thunderclash said, his voice sounding heavy with guilt.

“Don’t be, these things happen, especially to old mechs who are held together with scrap metal like you.” Rodimus teased. Thunderclash let out a chuckle, which in such close proximity damn near vibrated _through_ Rodimus.

“Was this something sudden though? You didn’t seem too surprised that it happened.” Rodimus asked and the big bot sighed.

“I had been having some trouble getting them to focus. I thought they might need replacing but I didn’t think they would give out this soon.” Thunderclash paused before adding, “I hoped they wouldn’t. I already spend so much time in the medbay.”

Rodimus sympathized with the colorful mech in that sentiment. Being cooped up could really stink, especially if people are telling you it’s for your own good because it never really feels that way. You get poked and prodded and you recharge miserably. Rodimus couldn’t imagine having to live as much of his life in a medical facility as Thunderclash did. He might just go mad first.

“Well let’s hope you’re in and out in record time.” Rodimus joked, “At least you won’t have to worry about them again for awhile.” 

Thunderclash grunted, “I suppose I shouldn’t have put of having them looked at. I could have avoided this.”

“Well, look on the bright side,” Rodimus paused for comical effect, “You get a fresh new look on the new universe now.”

Thunderclash snorted at his terrible joke but grinned nonetheless. He surprised himself when he realized that he was just staring at his face, feeling as if he was only just noticing that the colorful mech had small dimples in his cheeks when he smiled. The two walked in relative silence the rest of the way, only speaking really to guide Thunderclash away from a wall or down a new hallway.

“Thank you, Rodimus, for all of this. I hope I can make it up to you.” Thunderclash said as they rounded down the final hallway towards the medbay.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s no big deal.” Rodimus shook his helm.

“You’ve done so much for me recently, there must be some way I can repay you.” Thunderclash insisted.

“Come on, ‘Clash, this is what friends do for each other. I’ve got your back, and I trust that if something happens to me, you’ve got mine.” Rodimus looked at Thunderclash, whose optics were still closed but a smile pulled his lip plates.

“Absolutely.” Thunderclash said with finality.

“Good.” Rodimus kicked the medbay doors open, causing First Aid to jump in his seat.

“Oh my— what happened?” First Aid exclaimed as he came over to collect Thunderclash’s other arm and guide him to one of the mediberths.

“My optics decided they’d had enough.” Thunderclash said with a chuckle, “I sent a message to Lotty about it earlier. She might not have gotten to it yet.”

“Rodimus?”

Rodimus turned at his name to see Drift coming out of Ratchet’s office, with the medic himself in tow. Ratchet immediately went over to Thunderclash to inspect him without any prompting.

“Well, I think the professionals got this, see you later Thunders.”

“Likewise, Rodimus, thank you again.” Thunderclash said as he leaned back into the mediberth.

With that, Rodimus turned to leave the medbay, Drift in tow with a knowing smile on his face. The two were silent for a couple minutes as they walked back towards the bridge. He was vaguely aware of his amica getting right up next to him right before the white speedster bumped his arm.

“I told you, you could carry him.” Drift said smugly in his audial.

“Oh shut up, Drift.” Rodimus said with a gentle shove back, “Turns out, he’s not as heavy as he looks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. Lots of other WIPs popped up and I haven't sat down to write as much as I used to. My new goal for 2020 is to write more. (Which might be difficult in comparison to the first half of last year lol) But yeah. Rodiclash is just my bread and butter so I had to come back to this one. Also at least 1 more chapter for this one. Mayyyybe 2, but I don't know if I want to torture you guys or not lol. Some angst may or may not be in the next chapter.


	3. The Ground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rodimus takes a leap of faith, Thunderclash hits the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A portion of this chapter was inspired by this short little comic that rhapsodaze on tumblr drew: [https://rhapsodaze.tumblr.com/post/188055322548/a-lil-comic-practice-feat-shoujo-rodiclash-i]()   
So this chapter is dedicated to them :3

“Are you going to the party at Swerve’s tonight?”

Rodimus looked up from his paperwork on his desk, almost flabbergasted, at Minimus Ambus of all bots asking him if he was going to a party. The little bot had come in a few minutes early to collect the evenings reports under the guise of ‘making sure they were done.’ But clearly that wasn’t entirely true.

“I was thinking about it, yeah?” Rodimus said, a little suspicious. He looked over his small Second in Command and could see him fidgeting with his hands, not really looking at Rodimus and seeming to force his casualness as he looked over the collection of earth music he had on his shelves.

“Why?” He asked after a pause, although he knew the reason already.

“Oh, no reason, I was just curious… Is Megatron going too?”

Rodimus almost rolled his optics. There hadn’t been a whole lot of subtlety when the Ultra Magnus armor had been put away and Minimus began spending a lot more of his ‘free time’ with the silver mech. Free time being used loosely because they usually only hung out during more conspicuous hours when they could only have a few moments to chat and discuss their shared interest in poetry and novels. Typically in the SIC’s office with the door open. It had been entertaining for Rodimus to watch them tip-toe around each other at first but now the coyness was beginning to border on annoying.

“He will if you ask him.” Rodimus bluntly put, reveling in the way Minimus rounded on him with a blush spread over his face.

“I-I—What? Why would I do such a thing?”

“Come on, Mims,” Rodimus leaned back in his chair, “It’s clear to everyone that you two are hot for each other.” Which wasn’t entirely true, to anyone else the two probably just appeared to be friends. Rodimus and Drift were the only ones privy to the pining stares the two gave one another when no one was looking. Or when they _thought_ no one was looking at least.

“E-Everyone?” Minimus visibly shuddered and Rodimus put up his hands before Minimus imploded from embarrassment.

“Okay, okay, not everyone. But _I_ can and I think it’s wonderful! You shouldn’t feel ashamed of how you feel Mims. Just ask him out, he’ll say yes, I’m sure of it.” Rodimus said quickly to keep the smaller bot’s attention from spiraling.

Minimus stared at him, clearly still embarrassed and not sure how to process the information Rodimus had given him, “I-I…” He cleared his intake, “Thank you for the advice Rodimus… I will take your words into account and… think about it.” With that the little bot left.

Rodimus watched him go, smiling a little and hoping to see his SIC with Megatron at the bar that night. He realized a few moments later that Minimus had left without the paperwork he had come for and he burst out laughing. Even Minimus Ambus wasn’t immune to the forgetfulness that came with infatuation.

A knock came from his door. He tried to stifle his laughter and he straightened himself up the moment he saw who it was in the doorway.

“Am I interrupting?” Said Thunderclash, his large stature filling the doorway entirely. Rodimus was surprised to see him, it had been over a week since he had dropped the big mech off at the medbay for his optics. After that he didn’t get a chance to see him, too busy dodging paperwork, and Rodimus couldn’t help but notice his new gleaming red optics.

“Nope, just laughing at a joke in my head,” Rodimus bit his cheek to quell his grin, “Did you need something?”

“Uh, no,” Thunderclash shuffled his pedes in the doorway, “I was just stopping in to say ‘hi’ really. I hadn’t seen you since you very kindly took me to the medbay and I wanted to thank you again.”

“Again?” Rodimus chuckled, “I think I heard you the first—what? Three times?”

“I know,” The big bot shuffled his feet again, an awkward smile on his lips, “Well I should let you get back to work, I don’t want to take up too much of your time and get you in trouble.”

“Bah, I could use the distraction,” Rodimus said flicking at the data pad in front of him in annoyance, “But I do need to get through these if I don’t want Ultra Magnus—excuse me, Minimus, getting on my case.”

“Oh um, I wanted to ask…” Thunderclash cleared his intake, “Do you know what’s going on at Swerve’s tonight? The reason for the celebration eludes me.”

Rodimus perked up a bit, “Oh that? It’s Valentine’s Day. Well not really— it’s an Earth tradition. Humans had a special time of year that they would give gifts and party with their significant others. Swerve was telling the Scavengers about it and Misfire begged him to let them throw a party.” 

“A party planned by _those guys_? Why am I suddenly feeling a little frightened by the thought.” Thunderclash chuckled deeply and Rodimus grinned.

“They’re not so bad, I heard they’re going all out, making sweets and new types of drinks. The bar is even decked out with mushy gushy sparks and hearts all over the place.” Rodimus rolled his optics, “I know Chromedome and Rewind are all for it, they’ll probably be the first bots there and the last to leave.”

“Oh, is it more for those with significant others?” Thunderclash asked.

“Sort of, but it’s also just an excuse to have a party and get drunk really so there’s no rule about having to bring someone if you don’t have one.” Rodimus leaned back in his chair and put his feet up on his desk and chuckled, “I expect a lot of hungover mechs on the bridge tomorrow.”

“And… will you be making an appearance at the bar tonight?”

“Of course, what kind of party would it be without me?” Rodimus smirked, “If you stop by I’ll buy you a drink if you’d like.”

Thunderclash grinned, his handsome face illuminating, “I might take you up on that.”

* * *

“So are you going to finally tell him?”

Thunderclash jumped from a voice suddenly sounding by his ear. He turned and scowled a little at Riptide who had snuck up on him while he was walking. Clearly Riptide had seen him come from Rodimus’ office. Either that or he was developing psychic abilities but Thunderclash had some serious doubts about that.

“Maybe, but shhh,” He said looking over his shoulder and down the halls to make sure no one was around before pressing a digit to his own lips, “Not everyone needs to hear about it. I’m anxious enough as is.”

“Oooooooo— I’m so excited, I need all the details afterwards.” Riptide twitched with excitement, “And don’t be nervous dude, what’s the worst that could happen? Actually don’t answer that, think about the best thing that could happen instead!”

Thunderclash resisted the urge to sigh as he turned to continue down the hallway. Getting safely away from Rodimus’ office. Riptide strode beside him, his optics sparkling with bemusement.

“So how are you going to do it? Sweets? He likes those. Maybe a drink, a toast to his good health? Right before you swoop in and—” Thunderclash gave him a look and Riptide cut of the last part of his statement, “Sorry, too loud? It’s just you’ve been talking about this for forever! I can’t believe you’re going to do it.”

“I said ‘maybe’ I’m still undecided.” Thunderclash said, crestfallen, “The only reason I’m even considering it is because we’re on good terms. He can finally stand to be around me. I’m just not sure if it’s worth throwing all that away if he rejects me.”

“Well from what I saw with you guys talking at Swerve’s last week, you two looked like good friends. You went from awkward avoidance to being like old pals within what? Half a day?” Riptide elbowed his side, “With your charms, I think you’ll be just fine.”

“I can’t _charm_ him.” Thunderclash half hissed from the side of his intake, careful not to say Rodimus’ name aloud, “When I’m around him my helm feels like it’s going to roll off my shoulders. I can barely contain my beating spark let alone think straight long enough to ‘_charm_’ him.”

Thunderclash scoffed, smiling, “Not that it would work if I even could. My words are lukewarm sentiments in the fire of his presence. He is the light of a star, pulling me in the night. I’m blind without him but I don’t know where he’s taking me.”

“Dude, you’re doing it again.”

“Hm?”

“Getting all deep, honestly you should just write down what you just said and give it to him.” Riptide laughed, “You’d make him blush for sure.”

Thunderclash shook his helm, “I’m not aiming to _embarrass_ him with pretty words… I want him to know how I feel… and I’m hoping he’ll feel the same.”

* * *

“So what do you think?” Rodimus flexed his plating and turned, letting the light of his habsuite catch the angles to show off the glimmer polish he had adorned himself with. Red and golden yellow hues lit the walls around him, painting a faux sunset in the room. Drift looked up from his book he was reading on the couch.

“Wow, have you been saving that?”

“Yeah, I figured tonight might be a good time to try it out… Is it too much?” Rodimus did a twirl and the light scattered off him, “It’s too much, I look like an earth disco ball.”

“Roddy it looks great!” Drift laughed, “Are you _nervous_ about this party? Hmm? Is there a reason you’re getting all glitzed up?” A slag-eating grin spread across his amica’s face.

“_No_, I’m always like this.” Rodimus said putting his hands on his hips.

“Except you never would have doubted yourself normally, who are you trying to impress?”

“No one, you’re being ridiculous, Drift.” Rodimus turned around and crossed his arms.

He heard Drift laugh again and he felt his temperature rise in annoyance, “I’m just teasing Roddy! Though of course, if there was someone you’d tell me right?”

Rodimus resisted the urge to roll his optics and failed miserably, “There’s no one Drift. Trust me.”

“You sure?”

“Yup.”

“What about Thunderclash?”

Rodimus spun around so fast he almost toppled over, glaring at Drift, “_Ew_, what? _No_. Absolutely _not_. You know how I feel about that guy why would you even ask that?”

“I don’t know, maybe because you two seemed so chummy last week when you helped him down to the medbay. With your arms around him no less.” Drift said, his smile not abating in the slightest.

“He was _blind_, I had to keep him from running into walls!” Rodimus scoffed.

“But you can’t deny that you two were talking like friends for once.” Drift said with a finger pointed at him, “I haven’t seen your trademark scowl whenever he’s mentioned _and_ I would argue that you haven’t stopped talking about him since last week.”

“What?!” Rodimus felt his voice go shrill, “Says who!”

“Says me, if you remember it started after you told me his stories about his battles? Then the next day you asked me which battles I thought were the most hokey-sounding so you could ask him later.” 

Rodimus felt himself turning red, “That’s hardly—”

“Then!” Drift interrupted, “You asked Megatron about the time he tried to kill Thunderclash, you tried to phrase it like ‘what went wrong’ but clearly you were digging for more things to talk about with the big TC himself.”

“That’s not—”

“And let’s not forget that, while dodging Minimus’ paperwork you hid in Ratchet’s office and asked him things too.”

“He told you that?!”

“Of course he did, I’m his conjunx,” Drift held his chin up proudly, “And Ratty loves to tell me everything.”

Rodimus fumed, he spluttered, not knowing what to say. Of course he had asked questions, he was just getting perspective. He just wanted to pick the big colorful mech’s processor a bit more, that’s all. It was totally innocent. So he wanted to get to know his new friend better, was that such a bad thing?

“Well, so what? I like the guy. We have a lot to talk about now that, to use your words, we’re _chummy,_” Rodimus crossed his arms again, “Besides, what would be the point of getting all polished for Thunderclash? I doubt he’d be interested in me. Up until recently I was an absolute _aft_, and the sentiment wasn’t lost on him. He knew _exactly_ how I felt about him.”

Rodimus felt his spark fall a little at his own words. No, there was no way the big mech would be interested in him, they had far too much history behind them. Too much had been left unsaid for too long. They could be friends now, but beyond that… Rodimus had better chances with a _dire wraith_.

Drift tilted his head slightly and sighed, “I think you underestimate how easily he forgives.”

Rodimus scoffed again, “I think your bias makes you overestimate how much I deserve forgiveness.”

* * *

Later that night.

Rodimus arrived at the bar, fashionably late of course, and took to the dance floor with the usual suspects for the first hour. This was a much better morale boost in his opinion. Everyone loved a good party. The engex and the sweets were delicious and the music was hot, what more could you ask for? Rodimus danced with Drift for a time before the other speedster wandered off with Ratchet to undoubtably make out. Then he danced with Nautica, the second best dancer on the Lost Light, though he would never tell Drift that she had taken his place. 

He even got Minimus on the floor for a time. Though he didn’t dance per se, more of Rodimus saw him in the corner booth with Megatron and decided to kidnap him for a moment by using his best ‘puppy-dog face’ to get Minimus to let him give him a piggyback ride around the dance floor. The small green bot had his arms crossed almost the whole time, though he had to hold on when Rodimus made a sharp turn or two.

Before long he was dying for a drink and hit up the bar for one of the putridly sweet drinks the Scavengers had come up with, which he accompanied with a few sweet snacks. He liked them but he had to admit he missed having a little spice or tartness. He turned around on the bar to watch the dance floor before catching a glimpse of teal and cobalt out of the corner of his optic.

“Hey, Thunders, care for that drink?” He greeted cheerily as the bigger bot approached him.

Thunderclash’s face brightened up the moment their optics met, “If it’s not too much trouble, I would very much enjoy one.”

“Which one would you like, the sweet one or the sweeter one? Or maybe the grossly sweet one?” Rodimus held up the bright fuchsia drink in his own hand. “The Scavengers aren’t super creative with flavors.”

“I’ll take whatever you’re having then I guess.” Thunderclash chuckled.

“Hey Swerve, can I get another Cupid’s Misfire for my friend here!” Rodimus said, raising his voice to be heard down the bar. The red mini responded in kind by sliding him the radioactively colored drink, “Watch out, it’s surprisingly strong.” He said as he handed it off to Thunderclash.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” The big bot held up his glass, “To new friendships?”

“I’ll toast to that,” Rodimus held up his glass and gently tapped it against Thunderclash’s, “To new friendships and new optics.” He said with a smirk, taking in the new optics Thunderclash was sporting, which were a lovely hue of magenta in the dim lighting of the bar.

They both took a good swig from their drinks. Rodimus watched for Thunderclash’s reaction to it, laughing as he pulled the glass away and pursed his lips at the taste.

“That is _very_ sweet,” Thunderclash agreed and Rodimus chuckled.

“Tastes just fine to me.” Rodimus took another sip of his drink.

“Perhaps your proclivity for sweets explains your tolerance.”

“Say what now?” Rodimus laughed.

“Oh, what I mean is that you tend to be on the sweeter side more often than not. So you’re used to such things.”

As the two of them caught the, perhaps unintentional, double meaning in Thunderclash’s words Rodimus bit the inside of his cheek. A slightly awkward silence befell them and he couldn’t help but notice how close the two of them were standing in order to be heard by each other over the loud music. Rodimus felt strangely comfortable with it despite being suddenly hyper aware that their hands were both resting on the bar only inches apart from each other.

“So you decided to keep the red huh?” Rodimus asked, quickly changing the subject and bringing his focus back to the mech in front of him.

Thunderclash blinked, “Oh, yeah… I thought about blue for a while but I couldn’t decide if it was right for me. Maybe next time.”

“I like the red.” Rodimus said without really realizing what he was saying and scrambling to correct himself, “The uh, blue would have clashed too much with your faceplate.” He felt himself digging a hole and he just wanted someone to throw the dirt over him already. 

“Oh, well we can’t have that now can we?” Thunderclash said with a sly grin.

For some reason, Rodimus felt really warm. Really, _really_ warm. He hadn’t even had half of his glass yet. He let out a breath that half sounded like a chuckle and he could feel his face pulling into a smile despite himself. Why did he feel like such a fool? But at the same time he could care less about anything else in the universe right now.

Must be really good engex.

After deciding their conversation would be better if they didn’t have to almost shout at each other, they retreated away from the pounding music so they could talk more easily. They walked until they were on the border of the party as it leaked out of the entrance to Swerve’s.

“Well your spectacular luster is looking especially bright this evening, new polish?”

“Yup, it was a gift from a species of gem aliens, they said it would make me really sparkle and they weren’t kidding!” Rodimus lifted his arm and admired the glisten for a moment, “Their ship was falling apart so I saved them from getting sucked into a black hole. They were pretty nice until they tried to take my ship and leave me abandoned on a deserted planet but the polish is still great.”

“What happened to them after they tried to betray you?” Thunderclash quirked a brow ridge at him.

“Oh I just had a good talk with them about right and wrong and they ended up seeing the errors of their ways.”

“Really?”

“No, more of them showed up so I handed them over to their leaders and got out of there as quickly as possible before they tried to take my ship again. But I like to think that my words got through to them.” Rodimus grinned.

Thunderclash returned the smile, “They probably did, you have an incredible way with words.”

“Aw thanks,” Rodimus scratched his cheek, “You’re not so bad yourself.”

“Thank you but I have a great inspiration to thank for my success.”

“Oh? What inspiration?” Rodimus put one hand on his hip and cocked to the side as he looked up at Thunderclash, “A favorite quote from a poem or novel like Minimus?”

“Not exactly, my inspiration is more of a ‘who’ than a ‘what’.” Thunderclash’s faceplate darkened a little on the apples of his cheeks and Rodimus felt a little dower for a moment. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear the colorful mech talk about his supposed paramour.

That moment didn’t last very long as Thunderclash came a little closer, picking up Rodimus’ hand in his large cobalt one. He felt the air escape his vents as he watched, frozen in time, as Thunderclash’s optics pinned him in place.

“There is a certain red mech that I have always admired. He always gave me the inspiration I needed to keep going, even when things seemed bleak. His kindness and courage has been a light in my life for some time now and whenever I feel lost, I need only turn to him for guidance.”

Rodimus’ intake felt very dry all of a sudden and he could feel his core temperature rising by the second. Half of him wanted to bolt from this conversation but the other half didn’t know why. So he stood there, locked into place by those serenely calm ruby optics.

“I had hope to confess to this bot how I felt but the time never seemed right… But I thought… maybe now, in this new universe with so many new possibilities… Maybe now is the right time?”

Rodimus’ processor finally made the leap between what was happening and the words coming from Thunderclash’s mouth. The hand that was being held gently in Thunderclash’s large blue one sat there, limply. Almost like the hanging question that was left unspoken but was practically beating Rodimus over the head with the now apparent subtext.

This wasn’t just a random happenstance, the large bot didn’t come to him because he had no one else to talk to or because he was hard up for a free drink. His enjoyment of Rodimus’ company ran much deeper than the two of them simply sharing jokes or stories about the past. It went beyond the flimsy friendship that the two had started. Thunderclash was _attracted_ to him and he was making _his move_ on Rodimus now that the two of them got along. _Thunderclash_, the Greatest Autobot of All Time, a brief carrier of the Matrix, ex-Captain of the Vis Vitalis— and lets not forget _mutineer _at one point— was _flirting_ with him.

So what happened next may not have been entirely either of their faults but rather the fault of the absurdity of circumstance culminating in his processor. Rodimus couldn’t help it.

He laughed.

Not a hearty chuckle either. Or even a flirty giggle.

It was a gasping through the nose, almost a snort, low and almost derisive laugh of disbelief and shock. His whole body curled to stem it almost as quickly as it came out. In the brief moment that he had done it, his optics closed and when he opened them again he could see the damage he had inadvertently done. Thunderclash had the most hurt expression on his face he had seen. The expression disappeared and was replaced with an awkward smile quickly but Rodimus could still see the pain in his red optics.

Then, Rodimus went from frozen in place to moving all too quickly. He wasn’t sure when he had transformed. All he knew was he had to leave. He had to get out of there or he might just combust. He stopped outside of his own habsuite and transformed to root mode rather ungracefully, nearly landing face first on the floor. He jammed in his code and bolted inside, his spark pounding.

When the door shut he collapsed against it, optics wide and his entire being buzzing in shock. He couldn’t believe what just happened. Thunderclash had been flirting with him! Probably had been this whole time and Rodimus hadn’t even realized it. He couldn’t even believe it. More over, he couldn’t believe how poorly he had reacted. He didn’t mean to laugh it just sort of came out!

He didn’t know what to do, his processor was just playing what happened over and over in his helm. Panic rising in his chest, his did the only thing he could think to do.

He sent a comm Drift.

:Drift, EMERGENCY. Come to my hab ASAP.:

No reply came as Rodimus paced the room but sure enough, his amica came bursting through the door only minutes later.

“Roddy what happen—oof!” Rodimus wrapped his arms around the white speedster, crushing him slightly. The other speedster’s arms enveloped him, “Hey, hey? What’s wrong?”

“Drift, I’m very dumb.”

“Noted, but what’s the problem?”

“Remember when I said there was no way Thunderclash would be interested in me?”

“Oh my god what happened,” Drift reeled back from him, excitement shining in his optics, “Did he ask you out? Did you say yes?”

“Drift— no,” Rodimus felt confused, “Why do I get the feeling you know something I don’t?”

“Uhhhhhh,” Drift froze up and Rodimus eyed him warily, “I’m just jumping to conclusions— what happened?”

“Well,” Rodimus let it go as he felt the shame wash over him again, “I was wrong—very wrong— we were talking and things were going just fine until suddenly he—he… he took my hand and I… I just knew all of a sudden that he was flirting with me and I didn’t take it well.”

Drift cringed, “How bad?”

“I laughed in his face.” Rodimus let his shoulders slump, “I didn’t mean to! I just thought about how funny it was that Thunderclash of all bots, someone I never ever thought I would get along with after the mutiny, was flirting with me. And it sort of… slipped out.”

“I’ve seen you laugh, I’m sure ‘slipping out’ is putting it nicely.”

Rodimus rolled his optics, “Go ahead rub it in, not like don’t already feel completely humiliated.”

“I’m sorry Roddy, I thought you two would become great friends.” Drift patted his shoulder

Rodimus suddenly made the connection he had let go of earlier, “Wait, is that why you paired me up with him for the whole ‘trustfalls’ thing?” He stared in disbelief.

Drift smiled a guilty smile, “Yeah…?”

“You _wanted_ this to happen?”

“Well not the whole laughing in his face part, but pretty much yeah.”

“Why?” Rodimus asked, feeling a little betrayed.

“Well, I mean I didn’t know for sure but from conversations with Ratchet I found out he had a thing for you… and I thought— maybe— i-if you two could get over yourselves… you would make a cute couple?” Drift admitted slowly.

Rodimus spun on his heel and promptly walked over to the wall of his habsuite to begin banging his helm against it.

“Come on, don’t be so dramatic Roddy!” Drift said, peeling him away from the wall and holding him steady.

“You didn’t think I should have _known_ about Thunderclash’s little crush?” Rodimus groaned, “If I had then none of this would have happened!”

“I was afraid that you would just avoid him even more if I told you and I didn’t want to meddle any more than necessary,” Drift frowned, “Please don’t be mad at me.”

“I’m not mad I’m just—just…” Rodimus sighed, crossing his arms around himself, “I’m just upset that I might have blown it with him… You should have seen his face Drift. He looked so hurt.”

“Well the nights not over yet, maybe you can go and apologize?”

“How can I face him after what I just did? How could he possibly forgive me for that?”

“Well, I mean you’ve forgiven him for worse? I think you’re not so much worried about whether he will forgive you, more so whether to not you want him to.” Drift shook his helm, “You need to get out of your own way Roddy, take a leap of faith.”

“Ugh, I hate it when you psychoanalyze me,” Rodimus uncrossed his arms, “But you’re right, I at least owe it to him to set things straight. For the sake of ever being friends with him ever again.”

* * *

Rodimus poked his helm into the party, which had grown rather quiet. They were playing slow dance songs now and couples on the dance floor swayed rhythmically as they leaned on each other. Just as thought, Chromedome and Rewind being one of the few couples left, along with Cyclonus and Tailgate of course.

Rodimus looked around through the dispersing crowd as he walked inside. He made his way to the bar and tapped to get Swerve’s attention.

“Hey Roddy, where’d your buddy go?” Swerve inclined with a knowing smile.

“Actually I was hoping you could tell me, I—uh, lost him a little while ago.”

“Last time I saw him I think he was talking to Riptide, ummmm,” Swerve looked around, “Oh, there he is.”

Swerve pointed over to a corner booth where Riptide was talking to Cerebros, “He might be able to point you in the right direction.”

“Thanks.” Rodimus crept along the edge of the party and over to the tall bot. When he got close, Cerebros took one look at him and seemed to excuse himself from his conversation with Riptide. The larger bot turned once he was gone and eyed Rodimus with an unfriendly look.

“Can I help you?”

“I was looking for Thunderclash,” Rodimus said trying to come off as casual, “Do you know where he went?”

“Why should I tell you? Want to laugh at him some more?”

Rodimus took a deep breath through his nose and released it slowly. Of course he told Riptide. The two of them were often inseparable.

“No, if you must know, I wanted to apologize to him.”

Riptide crossed his arms, “And knowing Thunders, he’ll forgive you. So tell me why I should let that happen.”

Rodimus growled a little, “Riptide, I don’t have time to explain myself to you.”

“Just tell me why you laughed at him then. Why did you laugh at a bot who was only trying to be genuine with you—”

“I don’t know, okay!” Rodimus hissed looking around to make sure no one was eavesdropping on their conversation, “I guess it’s because no one talks to me that way. Or maybe because, I don’t know, up until a week ago being in the same room with him was awkward? I’m figuring things out, alright! I just want to see him so I can apologize and try and salvage our friendship.”

Riptide raised a brow ridge at him, “Well you better figure things out quickly. He was on his way back to his hab last time we talked.”

Rodimus huffed a little and quickly left, heading to where he knew the big bot’s habsuite was. He transformed and sped down to the lower deck, trying to come up with what he was going to say as he did. Unfortunately he found he didn’t have the words. But he hoped that when he saw the big bot he would just know what to say. He transformed as he arrived, knocking on the hab door. No answer came.

He knocked again, opening his mouth to say… something. Anything. But no words came. He banged his helm on the door.

This was useless. Even if he did find Thunderclash beyond this door. Even if he did apologize and was forgiven by the colorful mech. To what end? To be awkward friends with him? To go back to avoiding him? Sure, he should be happy to be forgiven but that wasn’t what he _wanted_…

Rodimus sighed and turned from the door, making his way back towards his habsuite. Walking the halls and hanging his head, letting his melancholy get the better of him as he did. His optics glanced over his surroundings in the dim light of the ship in late evening. As he did he glimpsed a familiar sight. A colorful bot standing at the same window as he had a week ago.

Thunderclash.

Knowing he would probably over think it if he faltered, Rodimus strode forward quickly. He still didn’t have any words but perhaps it was better that way. He would make no excuses and simply say he was sorry. When he was right next to the bot he cleared his intake and he waited for the damning look from Thunderclash. It didn’t come. Instead he was met with surprised red optics.

“R-Rodimus, I-I didn’t expect to see you again tonight!” Thunderclash appeared to tense up under his presence.

“I know, Thunders, I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”

“No please, let me apologize! It was never my intention to make you feel uncomfortable. I should have known better than to do what I did and I hope you can accept my apology.” Thunderclash folded his hands in front of him, squeezing them in nervous agitation.

“You didn’t do anything wrong Thunderclash, how I acted was completely uncalled for.” Rodimus shook his helm, “I should be the one asking your forgiveness.”

“Then… how about we just forget this whole thing happened, Rodimus,” Thunderclash said, stepping toward him, his hands open as if to offer him something, “Our friendship means much more to me than—than… So can we just go back to that?” Rodimus looked at him, feeling his distress from the edge of his EM field and seeing the sadness in his optics that was mitigated by only the shred of a hopeful smile on his lip plates.

Rodimus took those hands with his own, stepping closer so that their EM fields meshed and he could soothe away the distress. Thunderclash relaxed his frame and simply let Rodimus hold his hands.

“I didn’t want things to turn out like this…” The colorful bot said quietly.

“Can,” Rodimus began, with a thought blossoming in his processor. Thunderclash looked confused and Rodimus chose that moment to step even closer to the bigger bot. His red optics widened considerably which Rodimus chose to ignore in favor of putting his hands on the top of his chest and gently pulling him down, saying, “Can I just have a moment to think about it?”

Rodimus closed the gap between them, pressing his lips to Thunderclash’s. He moved slowly, putting a hand on the side of his jaw. Tasting his lips with a flick of his glossa. He deliberately kept the kiss slow in order to feel everything. To experience everything that was Thunderclash in it.

His soft lips that moved in tandem with his own. The taste of his mouth, a combination of an almost sweet copper taste and the tang of what he had been drinking lingering on his glossa. Then another uniquely _Thunderclash_ flavor that reminded Rodimus of the way the air tasted when lightning struck during a storm. He let himself savor the moment, optics closed and simply just listening to the way he felt right then and there. 

Then there it was, underneath the jealousy he had masked it with, and the supposed hatred he had thought it was. That pining he had so carefully concealed let itself be known to him now that he had the handsome, Greatest Autobot of All Time at his lips. And for a moment he let himself be consumed by it, moving hungrily and sinking deeper into the smoldering kiss.

When he opened his optics he pulled back just barely, just so he could look into Thunderclash’s own red ones. Only to see them glistening with what looked like tears.

“Thunders?” He said, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I-I never thought I would ever get to do that,” Thunderclash said with what Rodimus noted to be a sad smile, “Thank you.”

He also noted that Thunderclash’s posture was still withdrawn from him. Noticing how one of his arms braced himself on the wall next to them to keep himself upright, but the other hung limply at his side. Thunderclash started to pull away, but Rodimus caught him by the hand.

“Rodimus?”

“I’m still thinking.” He said before depositing Thunderclash’s large blue hand on his waist and leaning up for another kiss, hoping this one would be just as good as the last.

It wasn’t.

It was _so much_ better. It only took a single breath before Thunderclash’s hand on his waist gripped him tighter and pulled him closer until their chest plates were pressed together. No longer did Thunderclash passively follow Rodimus’ lead in the kiss but instead actively and just as hungrily kissing back. The first kiss had been like a dream but the second one was the reality. Like he had finally realized that Rodimus was kissing _him_, that Rodimus _wanted_ him. Their lips parted again but their helms stayed pressed together as they vented hard. Noses brushing still as they stood together, basking in their mutual want.

“I think I’ve made up my mind. Let me make sure.” Rodimus paused to say before pulling him back into another kiss. They wobbled for a moment before he felt his back pressed to the wall next to them, leaning back into it as he arched himself against Thunderclash. At some point he thought he heard footsteps pass them by but he couldn't have cared less in that moment. Not when he had Thunderclash’s hands on him, and his voice whispering the sweetest things in his audials. They pulled away, Rodimus cupping Thunderclash’s face gently.

“No, I definitely don’t want to ever forget this.” Rodimus finally admitted with a grin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took FOREVER for me to finish. I'm literally working on 4 different stories and because I write out of order literally none of them are getting done 😰 I will get back around to my TIF universe soon I just wanted to explore a new avenue in my new fic: Unintended Consequences. The first chapter of which should be posted shortly after this one so go take a read if love triangles between Rodimus/Thunderclash/Megatron in a post-war AU Cybertron strike your fancy. There's pining and heartbreak and more than a few surprises in store.


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